


coffee, sugar, instant love

by kenkajoutou



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Childhood Friends, Developing Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, wonseul siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 08:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17138594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenkajoutou/pseuds/kenkajoutou
Summary: The timeline of Soonyoung's life with Wonwoo can be summed up with a list of sweets and pastries.





	coffee, sugar, instant love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [seungkwannie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seungkwannie/gifts).



Soonyoung’s usually the first to arrive in the daycare center. He takes pride in being first and arriving the earliest has its perks; he could run around the room without worrying about bumping into his friends, he could play with the string toy train without needing to wait for his turn to use it, and most importantly, he could sit alone and eat the cookies and milk that his mom always packed for him as his breakfast. 

So when he arrives at the daycare and there’s already a pair of shoes on the shelves by the entrance way, a giant frown crosses Soonyoung’s tiny face. He quickly kicks his shoes off, shoving it into a shelf, racing to his classroom, his teacher following his steps. When Soonyoung pushes the door open, there he sees the owner of the shoes he’d just seen.

Soonyoung’s pretty sure that he knows every single kid in the daycare center. There’s his bestest friend in the whole universe, Jihoon; they’re both the five years old but he’s much smaller that Soonyoung mistook him for a three-year old. There’s Jeonghan, the oldest kid in their class at six years old, who always, always happily shares his extra candy with Soonyoung. There’s the other kids too; Jaehyun, Changkyun, Seungyeon, Minho, Jinwoo, Yebin, Yewon, et cetera. 

Basically, Soonyoung knows everyone in his class and even the kids in the other rooms. 

He pauses by his classroom’s doorway, narrowing his eyes at the child who arrived earlier than he did, sitting at the back corner. 

He knows everyone _except_ for this one. There’s nothing familiar about him; he’s wearing huge thick glasses, his nose buried into a book that has cats on the cover, sock-clad toes wiggling a little as he busied himself reading. 

“Soonyoung-ah.” 

Soonyoung turns to his Teacher Kyulkyung then, eyes blinking in curiosity up at her before switching his gaze back to the other boy, and then back to Teacher Kyulkyung.

“Soonyoung-ah,” Teacher Kyulkyung repeats softly, lowering herself on the floor so she’s at eye-level with Soonyoung. “We have a new boy joining the class today. He and his family just moved here so he doesn’t have any friends yet. Will you be his first friend, Soonyoung-ah?” 

At the mention of the child having no other friends, Soonyoung’s initial annoyance immediately disappears. His older sister, Minkyung, had always told him to make friends wherever he went because having friends were always a good thing. Having friends meant having someone to play with when it gets too lonely playing alone, it meant having someone to laugh and smile with, it meant having someone to share the best cookies in the world that his mother had baked. He glances at the child once more and Soonyoung can feel his mouth forming a sad frown; having no friends meant that the other child didn’t get to do those things. 

“I’ll be his friend, teacher!” He beams back at Teacher Kyulkyung, leaving her by the doorway at the next second and running towards the new boy in class. Soonyoung holds on to the straps of his backpack as he skids into a stop in front of the other boy, swaying a bit on his feet before deciding to sit next to him.

“Hi!” 

The other boy only glances at him, burrowing his face further into his book afterwards.

“Hi!” Soonyoung repeats, his shoulders slightly bumping against the other boy’s own. The action makes him put his book down on his lap, fully turning his attention towards Soonyoung. 

There’s a feeling that washes over Soonyoung once he sees the boy’s face. It’s a feeling that he can’t quite describe but something in him flutters, makes his insides bloom with happiness, has his cheeks feeling warm. The boy has sharp eyes under those thick glasses, his almost straight fringe reaching his eyebrows, his mouth forming the smallest frown. The other kid is cute, almost as cute as his bestest friend in the universe, Jihoon. 

“Hi!” Soonyoung says once more, his eyes almost disappearing as he gives the kid a bright smile. “I’m Soonyoung!! What’s your name?” 

The boy takes a while to respond to him. Soonyoung isn’t sure if the boy’s just studying his face, or if he’s annoyed that Soonyoung interrupted his reading. He hopes it isn’t the latter. 

He gets the answer to his question a second after, the boy pushing his glasses up before speaking. “I’m Wonwoo.” 

Wonwoo! The boy’s name is Wonwoo. The grin on Soonyoung’s face displays even brighter as he gets a name in return, settling more comfortably next to Wonwoo. He shrugs his _Digimon_ backpack off, rummaging through it for a moment, taking out a container that has the same _Digimon_ design on it. Soonyoung excitedly opens the container, holding it towards his new friend. 

Inside the container are cookies, the mostabsolutebest cookies in the world, baked by his mom. They’re thick, chewy on the inside, crispy around the crust, huge chunks of chocolate chips in every piece, the size of each cookie as big as Soonyoung’s hand. They’re his mom’s specialty; the cookies are always sold out in their bakery around noon. His mother always makes a separate batch for Soonyoung to take with him to class every day. 

He likes to eat the cookies alone for breakfast but today is extra special. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Wonwoo! Do you want cookies? My mom made them and they’re the best!” 

For a moment, Soonyoung’s afraid that Wonwoo would say no but he forgets about that thought instantly when Wonwoo’s eyes brighten, shyly reaching into the container for a piece. 

When Wonwoo bites into the cookie, his small frown turning upside down, cheeks rosy, eyes sparkling, it’s a sight that Soonyoung won’t ever forget.

 

/

 

“Yah, Jeon Wonwoo.”

Soonyoung scowls, poking at Wonwoo’s leg with his toe. Wonwoo only grunts, fingers holding on tightly to the edges of the book he’s reading. Now that he’s in elementary, he’s moved on from reading picture books to books with less pictures and more words. When Wonwoo doesn’t respond any further, Soonyoung squats in front of him, reaching around Wonwoo’s book to poke his cheek instead. 

“Jeon Wonwoo.” Soonyoung says once more, a slight whine accompanying the end of his tone. They’ve been in the nearby park since after lunch, but instead of joining the foot volleyball game with their friends, Wonwoo had opted to sit under a tree and read.

This isn’t the first time it’s happened; Soonyoung could count on his fingers the times Wonwoo actually put his book down and played foot volleyball with them. He’d go out with them to the park, sure, but half the time, he preferred the shade under the tree, occupied with a new book every single time. 

“What.” Wonwoo finally responds then, sighing as he slips a bookmark on the page he paused at, shooting Soonyoung a look. Whenever Wonwoo does that, Soonyoung wonders if he’s annoyed the other boy; he’s always the one who drags Wonwoo out of the house to join them in the park and while Wonwoo never declines, he almost always ends up reading instead of playing. 

The instances that Wonwoo joins in though are the best ones; while he can’t kick the ball as good as Seungcheol does or save it quick like Jeonghan, he tries his very best with whoever he’s teamed up with. Most of the time, Soonyoung picks Wonwoo for his team. He never hears a complaint from Wonwoo about it and he hopes he never does; he likes it when Wonwoo manages to kick the ball to the other side and grins at his successful attempt, he likes it when Wonwoo pats his back for a job well done on scoring, he likes it when Wonwoo gives him an apologetic smile for not being able to save the ball or score and Soonyoung tells him it’s okay. 

Soonyoung likes playing with Wonwoo even if it happens only once or twice a month. And well, Soonyoung can’t really say that he dislikes it when Wonwoo reads more than he plays. When Wonwoo’s reading while Soonyoung’s playing, he’ll hear a few cheers coming from the other boy on the sidelines. The cheers, no matter how loud or quiet they are, always gives Soonyoung an extra boost to his kicks.

“Kwon Soonyoung.” Soonyoung’s taken out of his reverie when Wonwoo boops his nose with a finger, Soonyoung scrunching his features at that, making a laugh rise out of the other. Soonyoung shoves Wonwoo’s hand away from his face, pretending to be annoyed but ultimately unable to stop himself from laughing as well. 

Soonyoung pulls himself up then, reaching a hand out towards his friend. Being in elementary’s a huge difference from their days at the daycare center. Now that they’re eleven years old, they’re allowed to go to the park, the playground, the library, and such, as long as they got themselves home just around the sunset. Their circle of friends had gotten a little bigger too, what with being in elementary school and having peers in after-school activities. 

Their friends had gone home a while ago, with Seungcheol’s brother passing by the park and dragging his brother home earlier than usual. Mingyu had gone along with them as he lived in the apartment building right next to where Seungcheol lived. Jeonghan had gone off on his bike, while Jihoon had to go to his piano lessons, and Junhui still had to do his extra homework in language. 

That left Soonyoung and Wonwoo together, seeing as they were neighbors, with Wonwoo’s house only a couple of blocks away from Soonyoung’s house. Being neighbors also resulted in Soonyoung having Wonwoo over the house and vice versa, their own families becoming closer as well. It also meant that Soonyoung was welcome to take Wonwoo whenever he wanted to their family’s bakery situated two streets away from their houses.

“Let’s go home?”

The moment Wonwoo takes Soonyoung’s hand to pull himself up too, Soonyoung’s smile is brighter than that of the street lamps beginning to illuminate the park. They start their walk home together, Wonwoo clutching his book to his chest while Soonyoung carries the ball they used in playing earlier. 

It doesn’t matter if him and Wonwoo ended up doing separate things at the park; at the end of the day, Wonwoo excitedly tells Soonyoung what’s happening in his book even if Soonyoung only understands part of it and in turn, Soonyoung eagerly tells Wonwoo of the moves he did during foot volleyball even if Wonwoo had been watching the game from time to time.

Wonwoo’s house is the first one in their street. From the corner of his eye, Soonyoung sees Wonwoo press his lips together in mild annoyance upon noticing that the lights in his house are still out. 

“I forgot that Seulgi noona’s at her part-time job tonight. Mom and Dad won’t be home until later too.” Wonwoo explains to Soonyoung then, sighing to himself. While Soonyoung’s sure that Wonwoo can take care of himself until his older sister and parents come home, he’s got a better idea in his head. 

He takes Wonwoo’s hand in his, already tugging his friend away from their street and towards another direction instead. “Come with me to the bakery then! Mom’s making cupcakes today and she told me this morning that she wanted me to help decorate them! We can do that while waiting for Seulgi noona to get home.” 

Soonyoung knows from experience that he doesn’t even need to hear Wonwoo’s affirmation nor protest his idea. He displays his toothy grin at Wonwoo, eyes perfectly forming the 10:10 hands of a clock, his smile becoming more radiant than ever as he feels Wonwoo pressing a grateful squeeze to his hand.

 

/

 

The older Soonyoung gets, the more he learns how to create food with his own hands. 

From childhood, he’s always admired how his parents ran their own bakery. His mother made the best baked goods and while his father didn’t know how to bake a single thing, he supported their business in any way that he could. He’d run the cash register, promote their bakery by handing out fliers, invite potential customers inside, and the like. Their bakery had grown from a small business to a household name around the neighborhood.

Soonyoung admires the way his parents work well together and while he’s still very much a long way from how incredible they are, he’s always known since he was a kid that he wanted to take over the family business once he’s all grown up. He just turned fourteen recently and Soonyoung finds that he still has the very same aspirations he’s had since he was a child. So really, it’s not at all a surprise that Soonyoung starts to properly learn how to bake. 

\---

“Here.” Soonyoung tiredly sets a large container on their lunch table, his friends looking up at him in interest. 

“What’s this?” Mingyu is the first one to speak up, leaning closer to container Soonyoung had brought in. He already has his lunch tray in front of him but he ignores it in favor of the container, opening it up, the sight of numerous chocolate chip cookies greeting him.

The cookies vary in width and circumference, others too thick while some pieces are too thin and small. Some look paler while the other cookies seem to have nearly crossed the burnt line. Unlike his mother’s cookies, the chocolate chips in the ones Soonyoung had made don’t have a similar equal ratio. Some pieces look like chocolate avoided them entirely together while other pieces had way too much in them. 

Soonyoung lets out an exhausted sigh as he settles down next to Wonwoo, nudging the other by his side to make some space for him. “Cookies, obviously,” Wonwoo supplies, one eyebrow raised at Soonyoung as he shifts to his side, effectively making Seungcheol move as well.

“Failed but edible attempts at cookies,” Soonyoung corrects, mouth curling in slight irritation. “I’ve been learning how to make mom’s best cookies but I just can’t get them right!” He runs a hand through his hair in frustration, sending a glare towards the container of baked sweets. 

Seokmin, their new friend from Mingyu’s class, swipes a piece and inspects it first before putting it in his mouth. “So we get to be your guinea pigs?” 

“I don’t mind being a guinea pig for free food.” Mingyu grins around half a cookie in his mouth, a hand of his already holding another piece, one that looks nearly burnt. 

Soonyoung sighs once more, this time louder than the previous one, leaning down to press his forehead against the table, arms crossed in front of his head to hide himself. Even with his mother’s encouragements, Soonyoung can’t help but feel frustrated. He knows baking is a learning process but if he can’t even replicate his mother’s cookies, how is he supposed to make the rest of the treats being offered in their bakery?

His worries leave him temporarily when he feels a warm hand coming to rest upon his back, rubbing soothing circles on it. The corners of Soonyoung’s lips curl up into a small smile, his chest filling with warmth; he doesn’t even need to look up to know that it’s Wonwoo’s hand, telling him to not worry and that at some point, he’ll get this cookie thing right.

\---

It’s a lazy summer afternoon when Soonyoung decides that this it, this is the day he’ll make those cookies right. 

He’d holed himself up in the kitchen of the bakery, making attempt after every attempt. When the afternoon rolls around, Wonwoo joins him after running an errand for his father the entire morning. He sits in the corner to not get in Soonyoung’s way, advanced mathematics book laid out on the table in front of him. 

Ever since Soonyoung had found out that Wonwoo’s been learning math in advance, the other boy would tease him endlessly about how much of a nerd he is. Wonwoo takes the teasing in stride though, knowing full well that he can tease Soonyoung in return just how much of a nerd he is when it comes baking. 

Soonyoung isn’t sure if this is already attempt number fifty or two hundred but when he lays out the fresh batch of cookies in front of Wonwoo, he’s crossing his fingers. His anxiety spikes as Wonwoo quietly takes a piece, looking it over, taking a bite afterwards. 

Wonwoo’s eyes are fixed on Soonyoung while he chews and the moment that Wonwoo’s nose scrunches up in happiness, wide pleased smile breaking over his lips, his canines showing, Soonyoung triumphantly mirrors the expression, knowing that he’s got it down perfectly. 

\---

Eventually, Soonyoung learns how to bake half of the sweets and pastries in their bakeshop before he graduates from middle school. He’s progressing at a steady pace, his family is proud of him, and most importantly, Wonwoo is there with him in all of his attempts, in every step of the way.

 

/

 

“Soonyoung.” 

In all the years that Soonyoung has known Wonwoo, he’s never seen the other look unsure and tentative as he does right now. “What’s up?” he says then, stretching his legs on the floor, laying back against the bed frame of Wonwoo’s bed. They’re in second year of high school now, more busy and hectic than ever, but both of them still found the time to hang out and play video games, pushing their homework aside for an hour or two. 

It takes Wonwoo a couple of moments to answer, fingers fiddling with the game controller in his hands before he sets it down on the floor next to him. He turns to Soonyoung, hand scratching the back of his neck in a timid manner. 

“Do you remember Jihyo? The girl who confessed to me with cupcakes on Valentines’ Day?”

Soonyoung snorts softly; of course, he remembers. He remembers Jihyo approaching Wonwoo when they were lounging at the bleachers of the basketball gym waiting for Seungcheol’s match to start. He remembers how bashful Jihyo looked when she asked if she could speak to Wonwoo alone.

Most importantly, he remembers how Wonwoo shared a look with him, eyes uncertain if he should go or decline her. Soonyoung remembers how he nodded his head, giving Wonwoo a slight push to accept her invitation, ignoring the snickers from the rest of their friends. He remembers Seungkwan, a transfer student who started hanging out with them because of his involvement in the music club with Jihoon and Seokmin, commenting about young love and Jeonghan promptly joining in along in the teasing.

He remembers how Wonwoo’s back looked like when he left the bleachers and followed Jihyo to a secluded spot. Soonyoung remembers the strangest feeling of all bubbling up in his chest at the sight of that, not quite sure how to put it into words. It’d been somewhat unpleasant, a slight pang making itself known on his chest, his heart racing a few beats oddly. 

Soonyoung remembers Wonwoo returning after some moments with a box of treats in his hand. Wonwoo had told them that Jihyo confessed to him. Seokmin and Seungkwan began teasing once more with Hansol, Seungkwan’s classmate and Seungcheol’s teammate and a new addition to their friend group, overheard what had happened and joined in with the taunting. Wonwoo had shrugged it off but Soonyoung swears he’d seen a slight flush on Wonwoo’s cheeks that day. 

The box Jihyo had given Wonwoo contained cupcakes, obviously handmade and delicately decorated. Soonyoung remembers Wonwoo having a bite, nodding his head as he ate. He remembers asking Wonwoo how the cupcakes tasted like and Wonwoo had replied _’They’re okay’_ , Soonyoung wondering if Jihyo’s cupcakes tasted better than the ones he made.

“Yeah, of course I remember. What’s up with her?” Soonyoung asks, tilting his head towards Wonwoo. He takes the opportunity to observe Wonwoo’s features. Of course, Wonwoo would gain admirers in high school. Wonwoo had grown into his features handsomely, eyes looking possibly sharper than they’ve ever been, his cheeks settling, jawline more prominent than before. The haircut from their middle school days no longer existed on Wonwoo’s head; his hair’s shorter now, messily styled in ways only Wonwoo can rock. His eyesight is still bad but there are days when he doesn’t wear his glasses anymore and ends up asking Soonyoung or any of their friends to help put eye drops into his eyes to make it all better. 

Soonyoung can feel heat crawling over his cheeks so he strays his gaze away, fixing it on the television, the menu screen of the game they’d been playing still on it. 

“I think I want to make something for her on White Day.”

Wonwoo’s words has Soonyoung casting a look at him in surprise. 

Of course. It makes sense. Wonwoo has gained admirers and of course, Wonwoo would be admiring someone in return. 

The slight pang on his chest from the day Wonwoo received a confession returns, Soonyoung subtly taking a deep breath so that Wonwoo wouldn’t notice it. He swallows down the bitter taste on his tongue, plastering a wider-than-usual smile on his face. “What do you wanna make for her? Do you want my expert help in baking? Make her cupcakes in return?” 

Wonwoo sends a playful punch on Soonyoung’s arm, shaking his head at the suggestion. “Not really. I just want something simple. Handmade chocolates, maybe? Can you help me make decent ones, at least?” 

Soonyoung nods, the pang in his chest spreading and growing more. “Handmade chocolates are perfect! I’m sure she’ll like that.” He forces a grin on his face but the expression doesn’t quite reach his eyes. 

Thankfully though, Wonwoo doesn’t seem to notice that, giving Soonyoung a smile in return, looking more at ease now than when he had initially opened up the topic to Soonyoung. He picks up his controller once more, knee bumping against the side of Soonyoung’s own, nudging him to continue playing the game with him while they’ve still got free time to do so.

\---

It takes Wonwoo two afternoons to learn how to mold chocolates with Soonyoung’s help. Seulgi had dropped by on one of those days, offering to be the taste tester once she had found out from her brother that he’d been planning to return a girl’s confession.

Soonyoung is proud of Wonwoo for being able to make handmade chocolates but at the same time, he can’t help the unpleasant feeling swirling within him. 

He helps Wonwoo place the chocolates in one of the better-looking gift boxes in the bakery, firmly reminding him to put it in the fridge and to not forget about the treats tomorrow, sending him off home with Seulgi in tow. 

\---

Rather than go home himself, Soonyoung stays behind in the bakery.

He’s kneading dough for a small batch of milk bread to be put on display tomorrow but Soonyoung’s attention is somewhere else entirely. His hands are working but his mind is focused on Wonwoo and all the emotions coursing through him. 

Soonyoung doesn’t have a name for whatever he’s feeling. He’s confused; he should be happy that Wonwoo’s found someone he likes, that Wonwoo’s love life is about to blossom, but Soonyoung finds that he doesn’t quite like the idea of Wonwoo with someone else.

He feels guilty as he comes to that realization. Soonyoung can’t and won’t ever mention that Wonwoo; he doesn’t even want to try searching for words to explain his conflicting feelings. The most he can do is swallow it all down, keep it to himself, ignore the unpleasant feeling in his chest. 

The longer he thinks about it however, the more Soonyoung finds it harder to ignore. He ends up over-kneading the dough as he loses himself in his thoughts, throwing his ruined batch in the garbage. 

Wonwoo, Wonwoo, Wonwoo. Soonyoung needs to stop thinking about Wonwoo. He slaps his own cheeks with flour-covered hands, letting out a shout of frustration that he’d been holding in since earlier. He needs to work and thinking about Wonwoo and feelings isn’t going to help him at all. 

Soonyoung fishes his phone out of his pocket, connecting it to the speakers in the kitchen, loading in his favorite pop playlist. As music fills in the bakery’s kitchen, Soonyoung lays out clean bowls, measuring cups, ingredients, and square cake pans on the work table. 

He gives up on making milk bread and bakes something else throughout the night instead.

\---

Soonyoung sleeps in until noon the next day, blankets thrown over his head, eyes squeezed shut. He isn’t ready to face the world yet.

Rather, he just isn’t ready to find out the outcome of Wonwoo’s return confession.

(If he’s going to be honest though, Soonyoung already has an idea that it’d be a success. He assisted Wonwoo in making those chocolates, _of course_ it’d be nothing else but a success.)

He’d been planning on remaining in bed the whole day long but Minkyung breaks through his thoughts, banging her fist on the door of his bedroom. “Kwon Soonyoung, get up already! Mom needs you in the bakery!” 

So much for sleeping in. Soonyoung reluctantly gets up then, narrowing his eyes at his older sister when he opens the door. “I’m up already!” He makes a face at her, the expression growing darker when Minkyung reaches in to pinch his cheek lovingly. 

“Get to the bakery, now. Mom needs extra hands today.” 

Soonyoung nods at that, whining when Minkyung sneaks in a last pinch to his cheek before walking away to allow him to get ready. 

“Oh, by the way,” His sister pauses, turning on her heel, looking at Soonyoung with an eyebrow arched. “Mom also wants to know why you didn’t make the milk bread she asked you to do yesterday.” 

His eyes widen at that, staring back at Minkyung, waving her off afterwards. He shuts his bedroom door, slumping forward against it. 

He’s got some explaining to do. 

\---

When Soonyoung gets to the bakery, his mom puts him to work right away. Honestly, he’s thankful for the distraction. With it being White Day and the amount of customers pouring in, searching for pastries and bread, it had helped him in putting Wonwoo and his Current Situation at the back of his mind. He had made up some stupid excuse for the lack of milk bread, pulling out trays of brownies in place of them. 

He’d poured all his frustration out on those brownies last night. 

His mother looks at him in suspicion as she lifts a piece off the tray, taking a bite out of it. Soonyoung rolls his eyes at his mom’s antics. By now, he’s certain that his mother knows he’s more than capable of baking old and new things for the bakery so really, the expression she’d just given him had been done in jest. 

“These are delicious, Soon-ah,” she smiles warmly at him then, taking a tray off his hands and making her way back to the front of the bakery to display the treats. Soonyoung breathes out in relief, following after his mother, bringing in two more trays of brownies along. 

Soonyoung ignores the glaring red box of treats he’d set separately on the top of the shelf in the kitchen. 

He’ll deal with that later on. Maybe.

\---

Soonyoung’s lounging around the in the bakery’s kitchen when he receives a text from Wonwoo, telling him to meet at the park nearby. He’s pretty much free to go now, the customers have dwindled down and his father’s already in the bakeshop too, manning the store in place of him.

“I’m meeting Wonwoo! I’ll go home directly after!” Soonyoung tells them as he waves a hand at his parents, leaving the shop with his backpack in tow. For some reason, his backpack feels heavier than before, as if he’d purposely put a gigantic rock in it. His fingers wrap around the straps of his bag, tension slightly running through them. 

It doesn’t take him that long to walk to the park and when he gets there, Wonwoo’s already there, waiting for him by the swings.

“Wonwoo,” Soonyoung calls to him, jogging to cross the distance between them, grinning slightly as Wonwoo smiles up at him. He takes the unoccupied swing seat next to Wonwoo, rocking it a little.

Wonwoo doesn’t beat around the bush, cutting to the chase right away. “I gave the chocolates to Jihyo,” he starts, matching the way Soonyoung’s rocking the swing. “She liked them. Liked them a whole lot, more than how I expected.” 

Soonyoung steels himself from letting his emotions show on his face, putting up a smile for his friend instead. “That’s great! I told you handmade chocolates are perfect.” He can hear his own voice tremble and Soonyoung hopes that Wonwoo doesn’t notice it. 

“We decided to date. I have a girlfriend now, Soonyoung-ah.” 

There’s a certain joy in the way Wonwoo says those words, and Soonyoung’s pretty sure that he’s never heard that kind of happiness from Wonwoo his entire life. Something in his chest drops, shattering in a million tiny pieces, the presence of an ache greater than what he had first experienced.

“Good for you, Jeon Nonu!” Soonyoung laughs but the mirth isn’t all there in the sound, and Soonyoung wonders if he’s trying too hard now. 

“Thanks. I couldn’t have done that without you, Kwon Soonyoung.” He hears Wonwoo mumble, Soonyoung using up all his willpower to avoid looking at Wonwoo’s face. He reaches for his backpack, pulling out the red box of treats that had been taunting him since last night. Soonyoung doesn’t say a word at first as he hands the box to Wonwoo, giving him the slightest look when Wonwoo takes it. 

“I made brownies for someone but I got rejected today, so…” Soonyoung lies through his teeth, eyes fixed on the lamppost ahead. The brownies have a perfectly crisp top, fudgy in the center, gooey and chewy all throughout. “Give them to Seulgi noona so that they don’t go to waste.” 

From his peripheral vision, Soonyoung can see a surprised expression on Wonwoo’s face. His best friend knows all his secrets, so Soonyoung knows that the surprise is a genuine one. Not once did Soonyoung say anything about having feelings for someone and while Soonyoung’s positive that Wonwoo wants to know all about it, he’s grateful that Wonwoo pry for more information. 

He feels a hand on his shoulder, Wonwoo giving him a comforting pat. “Sorry about that, Soon.” 

Soonyoung shakes his head, forcing another chuckle out of his mouth. “It’s fine, I saw it coming anyway.” 

He’d seen it coming from miles and miles away.

\--

Soonyoung had told his parents he’d go home straight away after meeting Wonwoo but he doesn’t stick to his own word, sending Wonwoo off and lying once more to him. This time, Soonyoung uses the excuse that Minkyung needs help with groceries, jogging away before Wonwoo could even offer to aid as well. 

He makes his way to Jihoon’s house, the other boy opening the door for him with an unimpressed look on his face. Jihoon lets him in, leads the way to his bedroom, not saying anything at all when Soonyoung plops himself down face first on Jihoon’s bed. 

Wonwoo’s his best friend but Jihoon is also his best friend, his _bestest friend in the universe_ since childhood. 

Jihoon quietly picks up his guitar once more, returning to what he had been doing before Soonyoung interrupted him. He lets the soft notes speak for him instead, and Soonyoung is more than thankful for that. He doesn’t need Jihoon to ask him what’s wrong; Soonyoung collects himself, letting the words pour out of him endlessly after a moment. 

When he’s through with his rant, he hears movement behind him, and then a presence by his side, the bed dipping to indicate Jihoon sitting down next to him. Soonyoung takes a deep breath, releasing it after a few seconds, accompanying it with a sad sound he didn’t even know he could make. 

“Ji.”

“Mhmm?”

“I like Wonwoo. I like him so much.” 

Jihoon’s hand is immediately on Soonyoung’s back, rubbing warm and soothing circles through the material of his shirt as Soonyoung finally allows himself to cry. 

“I know, I know you do.”

 

At seventeen years old, Kwon Soonyoung experiences his first heartbreak.

 

/

 

Wonwoo and Jihyo’s relationship had only lasted about four months, with Jihyo leaving Seoul and migrating to California with her family. 

It had ended without much fanfare; Wonwoo hadn’t been too devastated about it and while he does feel sad about the breakup, he’s more thankful that he’d gotten to know Jihyo in those short months. Jihyo had wished him well, Wonwoo returning the well-wishes, hoping then that they’d get to be better friends if they ever meet again in the future. 

In those four months of Wonwoo having a girlfriend, Soonyoung had busied himself with other things instead. He’d expanded his social circle further by joining clubs and extracurricular activities to polish his university application in the near future. He’d found himself spending less time with Wonwoo; they’d go to school separately more days than usual, they no longer went home together, and when Wonwoo joins their table for lunch, Soonyoung excuses himself that he needs to run an errand for his clubs.

It’s only Jihoon who knows what he’s actually doing -- avoiding Wonwoo as much as he can for his own sake. 

When Soonyoung gets wind of the news that Wonwoo and Jihyo have broken up, part of him feels terrible and the other part of him is filled with an unexplainable relief. Truthfully, Soonyoung had found it impossible to hate on Jihyo; she’d greet him whenever he passed by her in the hallways, she complimented his baking skills, and even recommend his family’s bakery for an event in her mother’s office. 

He’d found it impossible to hate on Jihyo because, even if he’s been actively avoiding Wonwoo and Jihyo during their relationship, Soonyoung had seen how Jihyo had made his best friend happy. That’s all that matters to Soonyoung, honestly. Never mind his own heartache, as long as Wonwoo’s happy and then he’s happy.

It’s a little odd to hear of the breakup from Seungcheol instead of his own best friend but Soonyoung sets off to Wonwoo’s house after his tasks in the bakery, his heart thumping a little too loudly in his chest. He rings the doorbell of the Jeon household, fingers nervously holding on to the bag of treats he has on hand. 

It’s Wonwoo who opens the door, and when Soonyoung sees him, his anxiousness disappears into thin air. “Sorry about the breakup,” he offers, holding out the bag he’d been holding towards Wonwoo. Inside the transparent bag are cheesecake tarts, something that he’d been trying to learn recently. He still hasn’t gotten it down perfectly, what with the broken tart shells on some pieces and the uneven cheesecake filling in a couple of them. Soonyoung realizes that for what could be the first time, Wonwoo hadn’t been with him in the bakery’s kitchen during all his tart trial runs. 

A soft smile graces Wonwoo’s lips as he takes the bag from Soonyoung, opening the door wider for the other boy. “Thanks. Want to come in?”

Soonyoung nods with enthusiasm, one foot already crossing the doorway. He knows Wonwoo’s going to be okay.

\---

Even after the breakup, Soonyoung finds himself _still_ avoiding Wonwoo when he can. Jihoon’s tired of his attempts of evading Wonwoo when it’s not an easy thing to do; after all, they share the same circle of friends, live in the same neighborhood, their houses situated close to each other. 

Jihoon thinks he’s being an idiot and okay, Soonyoung knows he _is_ being an idiot but he’s finding it so damn difficult to be in the same space as Wonwoo for an extended length of time. His heart always feels like it’s either about to burst from his chest or burst within him into smaller pieces. That’s something he can’t let Wonwoo find out and so, Soonyoung does the next best thing his brain’s telling him to do: avoid Wonwoo.

With how much he’s doing it, Soonyoung’s sure that not only Wonwoo, but their entire group of friends as well, knows that there’s something sketchy going on with him. Junhui had nearly caught him the other day, refusing to let Soonyoung go while waiting for Wonwoo to finish up with his classroom cleanup duties. 

Soonyoung had wrestled away from his hold, running at top speed as he yelled about how Jooheon needed him in the baking club. 

\---

It all comes to a turning point during the final day of classes before winter break.

“What the hell is your problem, Kwon Soonyoung?”

Soonyoung scrambles off his moping position on the floor of the music room when Wonwoo’s voice echoes, staring up at the other boy then. He sees that Wonwoo’s genuinely annoyed at him, brows knit together, gritting his teeth at Soonyoung. Soonyoung picks himself off the floor before Wonwoo could catch him, running after Seokmin, Seungkwan, and Jihoon who had already zoomed out of the music room ahead of him. 

“Jihoon!!” Soonyoung yells when Jihoon closes the door on his face, holding on to the knob. He peers through the glass panel of the door, seeing Seungcheol, Junhui, and Hansol holding the door down along with Jihoon. He supposes he could run to the other door at the end of the music room but that meant crossing Wonwoo and Soonyoung doesn’t have the strength to thwart Wonwoo at the moment. 

Besides, he’s pretty certain that Jeonghan, Mingyu, Seungkwan, and Seokmin are holding the door down on the other end. 

“Ji,” Soonyoung pleads, sounding a little more troubled than earlier, leaning his forehead against the glass panel. “Let me out.” 

“You need it, Soonyoung,” Jihoon tells him, giving him an apologetic smile. 

Yeah, Soonyoung needed this intervention. He’s just not ready for it. He frowns disappointingly at Jihoon, turning away from the door, mustering up the courage to face Wonwoo. 

“Wonwoo,” Soonyoung tries, attaching a fake cheery tone, wincing inwardly at himself. 

Wonwoo stands at the center of the room, his arms crossed in front of him, a disapproving look cast towards Soonyoung. He lets out an exasperated sigh, sitting on the floor then, patting the empty space next to him, a gesture for Soonyoung to come over and sit. 

Soonyoung has no other choice. He lets his feet drag him towards Wonwoo, crossing his legs together when he sits down. 

“What the hell’s your problem, Soonyoung?” Wonwoo repeats his earlier words, this time without much of a bite into it. Soonyoung can tell though that Wonwoo’s pretty much upset at him. 

“Nothing?” Soonyoung says tentatively, fiddling with a stray thread on his uniform. 

“So you’re telling me that you’ve been avoiding me for no reason at all?” 

Soonyoung winces visibly at that. How does he even verbalize _’I’ve been avoiding you because I have feelings for you and I think I’m going to die if I spend more than ten seconds in the same room with you’_? He ends up looking like a fish instead, opening and closing his mouth, unable to push the words out. 

Wonwoo sighs, lowering his head a little. “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t know if I did something wrong for you avoid me but believe me, I’m sorry about that. Whatever it is that I did or said, I’m sorry, I really am.” 

Soonyoung’s heart breaks for a different reason this time. Wonwoo looks absolutely crestfallen, unsure of what it is that he’d done to Soonyoung to make him avoid Wonwoo like that. And that’s the thing, really. Wonwoo didn’t do anything; it’s all on Soonyoung. 

He reaches over, patting Wonwoo’s knee, the other lifting his head up, gaze fixed on Soonyoung’s own. Soonyoung feels even more terrible about what he’s done. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he starts, palms turned up over his lap, an invitation for Wonwoo to take them if he wants to do so. 

“I’m… I was just being an idiot. I thought you still wanted your space after Jihyo, and… yeah…” 

Kwon Soonyoung is a terrible liar and makes up the crappiest excuses and if Wonwoo could see through that, he’s thankful that his best friend doesn’t make a mention of it. 

“Yeah, you truly are an idiot,” Wonwoo snorts in good nature, taking Soonyoung’s hands in his, pressing their palms together, warmth coursing through them. A blush crosses Soonyoung’s cheeks and he wonders if Wonwoo can hear how loud his heart is beating at the moment. 

“I’m sorry, too,” he manages to say out, his grasp on Wonwoo’s hands firm yet gentle. He’d been too obsessed with hiding his affections for Wonwoo that Soonyoung had failed to notice he was hurting his own best friend as well. Jihoon had been right, he’s an absolute idiot. 

The corners of Soonyoung’s eyes sting with tears and in the next second, he finds himself being enveloped in a warm hug, Wonwoo’s arms gently wrapping around him. Soonyoung’s heart aches for numerous reasons but above all those is him feeling guilty about avoiding Wonwoo for so long. 

“I’m really sorry, Nonu,” he sniffles, pressing closer to Wonwoo, crying against his shoulder. 

He can feel Wonwoo resting his chin on the top of his head, and the small gesture makes Soonyoung cry even harder. Wonwoo whispers soothing words to his ear, assuring him that it’s okay, they’re both okay now. 

“Just. Just don’t ever do that to me again, okay? You have to tell me if I did something wrong. You can’t just avoid me like that again.”

Soonyoung nods, his fingers clutching onto Wonwoo’s coat. “Won’t ever do that again, I promise.”

 

/

 

Their third and final year of high school passes by in a breeze. 

Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s graduation had been bittersweet; all of them have made promises to keep in touch and to meet once in a while as well. They’ve also promised to maybe live close to each other once everyone’s in university; Soonyoung hopes that that one’s a promise they can actually fulfill. 

Being a third year is even more difficult than being in second year, so much that Soonyoung doesn’t even exactly have the time to dwell on his affections for Wonwoo. Sure, he still harbors romantic feelings for his best friend but he’s gotten better at holding them in. 

And well, if he really needed an outlet for his feelings, there’s always Jihoon _and_ Junhui to ramble to. 

In between all his studies and extra school activities, Soonyoung still finds time to bake and help out in the bakeshop if he can. He keeps on learning new things too, pestering his mother to teach him this and that whenever he’s got free time. He’s making the most out of it because Soonyoung knows that once he graduates and moves for college, he won’t be able to spend all his time in the bakery’s kitchen and make things not only for himself and his friends but for the patrons of the shop as well. 

He’s going to miss this and so, Soonyoung savors every moment of it. 

\---

Both Soonyoung and Wonwoo are in the bakery’s kitchen, taking a free work table for themselves, sitting next to each other. Soonyoung’s currently icing cupcakes for a wedding tomorrow while Wonwoo’s playing a game on his phone, keeping his best friend company. There’s a comfortable silence between them as they each do their own thing. 

Despite that though, there’s a lingering question hanging on Soonyoung’s mind. They’ve both sent in their applications for various universities and while Soonyoung’s certain that Wonwoo and him will end up attending the same place and perhaps even room together, there’s a slight shred of doubt plaguing him. 

What if Wonwoo realizes he wants to expand his horizons? What if Wonwoo realizes Soonyoung’s a shitty roommate and packs up his bags for a different dorm altogether? What if Wonwoo ultimately ends up picking some school across the country? 

His anxious thoughts make Soonyoung lose a bit of concentration on his work, his hand moving faster and unsteady, resulting into some sloppy icing. His entire focus gets broken when he feels a light kick to his leg, turning to frown at Wonwoo. “What?” 

Wonwoo has the same frown on his face as he nods his head towards the cupcakes. “Uneven icing,” he tells Soonyoung, resuming his game afterwards. Soonyoung curses as he removes and redos his icing mistakes, scrunching his features in annoyance. 

“What’re you thinking about?” Soonyoung curses under his breath once more when Wonwoo directs the question at him. Wonwoo knows him too well. Soonyoung only makes errors with icing cupcakes when there’s something weighing in his mind.

He sets the pipe down as he shifts on his seat to face Wonwoo, his lips pursed into a small pout. “We’re going to attend the same university and live in the same place, right?” 

Wonwoo pauses his game and looks at him like he’s grown a second head. “You’re being an idiot again.” 

“Wonwoo,” Soonyoung whines, unable to stop himself from grabbing Wonwoo’s arm, shaking it as if that could make Wonwoo answer him properly. 

The other boy sighs, putting his phone down to poke Soonyoung’s cheek. “Yes, we’re going to the same university and we’re going to live in the same place together with Jihoon and Junhui.” It’s something that the four of them, with the consultation of Seungcheol and Jeonghan as well, have decided on. Hearing Wonwoo’s affirmation eases Soonyoung’s worries, the shred of doubt within him flying out of the window immediately. 

Soonyoung’s caught off-guard though when the finger poking his cheek turns into Wonwoo’s entire hand resting gently on his face, thumb brushing over his skin. Wonwoo’s eyes are fixed on his features and Soonyoung could swear his heart had stopped beating. This is it, he’s going to die, and he hasn’t even reached college yet. 

Wonwoo swipes his thumb on a corner of Soonyoung’s lips and Soonyoung absolutely swears his soul ascended time and space. 

“You had icing on your face,” Wonwoo mumbles, removing his hand off Soonyoung in the next moment, wiping his hand off a nearby dishcloth. 

“Oh. Thanks.” 

“Anyway,” Wonwoo coughs, picking his phone up again and returning to his game. “You’re not getting rid of me just yet.” 

Soonyoung picks up the pipe once more, hands trembling slightly as he attempts to finish the remaining cupcakes. His face is flushed red for the remainder of the night and when he notices a crimson hue on Wonwoo’s cheeks, he clamps his mouth shut, avoiding to make any mention of it. 

\---

On graduation day, Soonyoung almost blurts out that he’s in love with Wonwoo. 

He blames it on the cherry blossom petals swaying along with the wind, making Wonwoo look even more ethereal than how he already is. Soonyoung had thought sceneries like this only existed in dramas but he’s here standing now, living out his own scenario of it. 

Wonwoo is beautiful under the dancing cherry blossom petals, holding his diploma and a bouquet from his family, smiling at Soonyoung, looking brighter than the sun. 

Soonyoung almost blurts out that he’s in love with Wonwoo.

But he doesn’t.

 

/

 

University is an entirely different world. 

Soonyoung feels like there’s too much freedom; he’d been so used to getting restricted in high school and living in their neighborhood that at the moment, everything feels too big and free for him. The campus is huge as expected, there’s a new face everywhere he looks, new stores to go into, new streets to memorize and get used to. 

Being in university is an entirely different world and Soonyoung’s so damn thankful that he’s not alone in the start of this new adventure. He ends up renting a shared space with Wonwoo, Junhui, and Jihoon to keep the costs down. On a floor above them lives Seungcheol and Jeonghan, with their roommates Jisoo and Minghao. 

He finds out through introduction that Jisoo is Hansol’s cousin from Los Angeles. Hansol had called up Jeonghan and Seungcheol, asking them to help out his cousin as he takes on his new life in Seoul. Minghao on the other hand, found Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s looking for roommates postings on the internet, communicating with them as best as he could in his broken Korean. Thankfully, they now had Junhui along with them, with Minghao even mistaking him for a past friend when they were first introduced. 

Soonyoung also gets to meet Chan, the landlord’s son and basically the one managing the complex along with his father. He’s younger than them, still in high school, but Chan gets along with them really well. Having familiar faces and new friends makes everything bearable for Soonyoung. He can’t wait until their newfound friends get introduced to their remaining friends back home.

\---

Soonyoung’s not sure how the subject comes up but it happens when it’s just him, Junhui, and Jihoon at home, their schoolwork spread out on the table. Wonwoo’s at the library, already complaining about the mountain of research he has to do and it’s not even the middle of the term yet. Soonyoung’s busy trying to not fall asleep into his readings when Junhui airs the question.

“When are you planning on confessing to Wonwoo?”

That shakes Soonyoung awake, reeling back from his notes and readings, eyes wide at his friend. Even Jihoon stops with his work, looking on in interest at Soonyoung. 

“Who says I’m planning on confessing anything?” Soonyoung nearly shouts out in disbelief, his heart rate picking up speed at Junhui’s query. 

Jihoon tosses a piece of crumpled paper at him, hitting Soonyoung’s arm with his aim. “You’ve been keeping it to yourself for years now and you’re just… not planning on doing anything about it?”

Soonyoung sticks his tongue out at Jihoon, faceplanting on his schoolwork afterwards. “... He’s my best friend. I don’t want to ruin what we have by telling him I’ve been in love with him since we were kids.” 

“I thought I’m your best friend?” Jihoon snickers.

“Wait -- you’ve been crushing on Wonwoo since childhood? How come I didn’t know about that?!” Junhui interjects, leaning over the table to reach for Soonyoung. 

Soonyoung pulls himself up. “That’s not the point!!” He yells, taking the crumpled ball of paper and throwing it back to Jihoon. He misses. “The point is. I. I’m. Just. I’m scared. I don’t want to mess things up between us. I already messed up when I was avoiding him in high school because I couldn’t keep my crush on him in check. I would die if he finds out I’m goddamn in love with him.”

Junhui and Jihoon turn quiet at Soonyoung’s rant, sharing a look between them. Soonyoung exhales loudly, flipping pages of his notes in an attempt to return to studying. 

Jihoon shakes his head at Soonyoung, returning his focus on his work. “Kwon Soonyoung, I’ve told you this many times before but I’m saying it again. I think you’re an idiot.” 

\---

Minkyung had told him before that going to college was a wild rollercoaster ride. Soonyoung’s also heard from Seulgi about the same thing. Even Seungcheol and Jeonghan had said the same thing when they first met them back home after their first term. Soonyoung had heard the same from various individuals but even so, their words couldn’t have prepared him for how crazy college life truly is. 

While he’s dealing with his own schoolwork, he’s also noticed that Wonwoo’s been pulling all-nighters left and right. The bags under Wonwoo’s eyes are darker than usual, and Soonyoung hates it how Wonwoo seems like he’s forgetting to take care of himself. 

He catches Wonwoo falling asleep in their small kitchen table, books and notes spread out before him. There’s a cup of unfinished ramyeon and a mug of already cold coffee next to him. Soonyoung shakes his head at the sight. He moves around the kitchen quietly so as to not disturb Wonwoo from his slumber. 

It’s an hour later when he gently shakes Wonwoo awake. There’s a delicious smell wafting from the oven. The kitchen isn’t as equipped as the bakery’s kitchen back home but Soonyoung’s managed to work with it using easier recipes. 

“Wonwoo-yah,” Soonyoung tries again, running a hand through Wonwoo’s soft hair. At the action, Wonwoo blinks awake, hands rubbing at his tired eyes, squinting at Soonyoung then. 

“Soonie?” He yawns as he stretches his arms and legs out, wanting to get rid of the uncomfortable knots that he’d gained in the position he fell asleep in. 

“I made bread.” He takes it out of the oven, setting the pan in front of Wonwoo. The top of the rolls have a golden brown color to them, and they look soft to touch. Wonwoo already knows that these rolls are delicious; after all, they’re Soonyoung’s special bread rolls. 

Soonyoung’s also made a fresh batch of coffee, throwing out the cold one in Wonwoo’s mug and filling it with a piping hot one. The aroma of coffee, the buttery scent of the bread, both of them are enough to completely pull Wonwoo awake and they’re certainly enough to get him through the rest of his readings. 

Wonwoo’s devouring a piece of roll when Soonyoung plops himself down on the seat in front of Wonwoo, laying his own homework in front of him. Soonyoung doesn’t even have to hear out loud what’s going through Wonwoo’s head at the moment. 

“I’ve got a lot of shit to work on, too.” Soonyoung shrugs, already opening his book on the section he’d stopped at earlier. 

He pretends to keep his eyes on the page of his book but Soonyoung definitely doesn’t miss the appreciative smile Wonwoo’s sent his way. 

\---

When midterms roll around, Soonyoung’s world comes crashing down. 

He’d failed one of his midterms. While some people might tell him it’s just one subject, it’s enough to make Soonyoung question himself. He’s good at baking, hell, he’s _great_ at baking but that isn’t enough to actually run their bakery once he takes over it from his parents. There’s the business side to learn too, and that’s what Soonyoung had decided on majoring on in college. 

Now though, now Soonyoung thinks that maybe he shouldn’t have aimed for something so difficult. He’d had good grades all throughout high school but college is a different ball game altogether. Maybe he should’ve just taken up something along the lines of culinary. Baking is his expertise, and he’s got the cooking basics down anyway. Soonyoung probably would’ve thrived in that environment. 

He drags himself towards their shared complex, head hung low, hat obscuring his face. When Soonyoung gets to their flat, he shuts the door behind him without a sound, slumping down in the doorway. 

From somewhere in the dorm, he hears Wonwoo’s soft voice welcoming him back home. 

It’s enough to make Soonyoung break down, sobbing loudly as he holds himself. He’s not sure how it even happens but he finds himself being enveloped by Wonwoo’s arms, holding him protectively. There’s a soothing motion on his back, words being whispered in his ear, and while Soonyoung doesn’t actually understand what Wonwoo’s currently saying, it’s enough for him to fall into the comfort of Wonwoo’s embrace. 

When Soonyoung comes to, his eyes feel puffy and his head is aching. Judging by how uncomfortable it feels underneath him, Soonyoung guesses he’s probably on their thrifted couch. He moves a little, one of his hands catching on to something, Soonyoung looking down then to find Wonwoo. 

Jeon Wonwoo who’s holding on to his hand as delicately as he could, resting his head on the remaining space on the sofa, looking to have fallen asleep too. 

_Goddamn_ , Soonyoung thinks, _I’m absolutely in love with you, Jeon Wonwoo._

\---

Things get a bit easier after that. Their classes and school work is still one hell of a crazy ride but Soonyoung doesn’t find it as daunting anymore. He’s adjusted better, he’s gotten a better vibe of his surroundings and the people around him. Sobbing about it probably helped a whole lot as he managed to spill out all the worries he’d been holding inside. 

(Junhui comments that maybe it’s Wonwoo holding his hand that helped Soonyoung get through one of his low points and he promptly receives a kick to the leg for that.) 

Soonyoung can’t pinpoint when it all started but he’s found himself and Wonwoo spending much more time together now. They’ve always spent time together, being childhood friends and neighbors and all, but Soonyoung can feel there’s something different between them. 

When he’s in the living room studying economics, Wonwoo would quietly join him, their knees brushing against each other. It’s the same thing when Wonwoo’s on the couch, reading a book or playing video games on his handheld. Soonyoung doesn’t need an invitation; he’ll readily take the space up next to Wonwoo, watching videos on his phone or trying his best to get through his readings. 

Despite having different majors and different schedules, Soonyoung and Wonwoo stay up late together or go to bed at the same time. They take their breaks together, sometimes Wonwoo would be waiting for Soonyoung with an iced coffee in his hand. Sometimes, Soonyoung would be making cookies in the kitchen, packing up a batch for Wonwoo to take to his study group later on. 

( _”Are you sure you’re not dating?” Jihoon asks one morning, noticing that Soonyoung’s made banana muffins for Wonwoo._

 _“Fuck you, Lee Jihoon,” is the only thing that Soonyoung answers him with._ ) 

\---

They’re in their second year of university now, with Seokmin and Mingyu joining them in dorming in the complex. It’s livelier with the two of them around, and there’s only a year left until Hansol and Seungkwan can reunite with all of them. Soonyoung has managed to find a balance between his studies and baking and other things. 

Soonyoung’s promised Wonwoo a lot of things and while keeping them is either a hit or a miss, there’s one thing that Soonyoung had vowed he’d never, ever do again.

Except, he’s now on the verge of breaking it and totally doing it again. 

Wonwoo meets Minhyuk in one of his calculus classes. Wonwoo tells him over a cheap oden dinner one night, that he found Minhyuk struggling with the class despite being a mathematics major like himself. He offered to teach Minhyuk and ever since then, Minhyuk’s been a constant presence by Wonwoo’s side.

Jealousy brews in the pit of Soonyoung’s stomach.

There’s nothing to get jealous about, Soonyoung tries to convince himself; Wonwoo and him aren’t even dating in the first place. Still, the feeling grows in the pit of his stomach whenever he sees Minhyuk hanging off Wonwoo. It grows when he catches Minhyuk smiling at Wonwoo, it grows bigger when Wonwoo allows Minhyuk to ruffle his hair, it grows even more when Minhyuk gets into Wonwoo’s personal space by resting his chin on the other’s shoulder. 

Soonyoung hates the feeling and so, he does the next thing he knows best: distance himself from Wonwoo. 

He starts by walking past Wonwoo and holing up in his room when the other’s studying in the common area. Soonyoung follows it up by excusing himself when Wonwoo sits down next to him on the couch, a book or a game in hand. He turns down Wonwoo’s invitation to do readings together, or watch a movie, or play Mario Kart.

He’s sure Wonwoo’s noticed that he’s avoiding him again but at this point, Soonyoung doesn’t care anymore. 

He stops baking for Wonwoo.

Instead, Soonyoung bakes things for himself and for his other friends. It’s stress baking, Minghao remarks, but Soonyoung brushes it off by baking even more pastries. 

The oven in their kitchen is witness to the numerous items that Soonyoung’s made. He’d asked his mother to send him some of their unused baking utilities at home so that he could make full use of the tiny kitchen in the dorm. When the materials arrive, Soonyoung bakes cheese rolls, apple pie, chocolate buns, sugar cookies, banana bread, a whole loaf, among other things. 

If Wonwoo stands in the doorway of the kitchen, looking upset at Soonyoung while he bakes, Soonyoung pretends to not notice him.

\---

“What the fuck is your problem, Soonyoung?”

Soonyoung nearly drops the cake pan he’s holding when Wonwoo’s voice booms in the kitchen. He stares at his best friend - could they still be considered as such when Soonyoung’s actively avoiding him? - switching for a glaring, angry look once he collects himself. 

“I don’t have any problems. Maybe you do?” There’s a bite to Soonyoung’s tone when he answers. He regrets it the next second but he chews on his lower lip to keep himself from apologizing to Wonwoo. 

“You’ve been avoiding me so clearly, the one who has a problem here is you.” 

If Soonyoung lists out all his problems, he’s sure that he’d never stop talking all about it. So he keeps his mouth glued shut, putting his attention on the sponge cake base that he’d been making. He just wants Wonwoo to go away, to just leave him alone with his stupid jealous thoughts. Tears well in his eyes, his hands trembling slightly as he tries to get the cake base off the pan. 

He hears Wonwoo’s feet dragging across the kitchen floor and soon, Wonwoo’s fingers are helping him set the cake down on the table. Wonwoo delicately encircles Soonyoung’s wrists to take hold of him, thumbs brushing back and forth on his skin. 

“Soonie,” Wonwoo says and Soonyoung’s chest aches at how distraught Wonwoo sounds, “Please tell me what’s wrong? What did I do this time? Didn’t you promise me you’d never avoid me again and that you’d tell me if I did something wrong?” 

At that, Soonyoung breaks. He lets his tears fall as he releases a heart-wrenching sob, and Wonwoo’s wrapping his arms securely around Soonyoung at once. He cries against Wonwoo’s shoulder and Soonyoung’s certain that if he looks up, with the way Wonwoo’s chest is heaving, he’s crying too. 

Soonyoung can’t keep this to himself anymore. 

“I’m in love with you, Jeon Wonwoo.” 

Soonyoung finds that he can’t stop the words from pouring out of his mouth.

“I’m in love with you. Been in love with you since we were kids, and it’s been hard trying to keep it all in, you know? I always thought I’d be fine without you knowing but it’s so much more difficult than I thought it would be.” Soonyoung inhales loudly, wrapping his arms around his own waist. 

“Soonyoung--”

“It’s hard to not get jealous when you keep falling for people who aren’t me. I mean yeah, I’m a moron because I probably should have just confessed to you but I got scared, you know? I’m still scared. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship but I’m an idiot because I still ruined it anyway.” 

“Soonie--”

He bites the inside of his cheek as he pulls away from Wonwoo’s hold, forcing his head to hang low. Soonyoung can’t find the will in him to look at Wonwoo’s face at the moment. He scrubs at his face in an attempt to erase his tears. “Fuck. I’m in love with you. Now that I've told you how much I'm in love with you, I’m gonna go out. Because it's unbearable. Don’t follow me. Please.” 

Soonyoung breathes through his crying, already walking away from the kitchen and Wonwoo. His vision is blurry but he manages to get to their doorway and put his shoes on, slamming the door behind him. 

\---

Soonyoung doesn’t go too far, only a floor above, pushing past Seungcheol when the older boy lets him in their flat. He collapses in Jeonghan’s arms, tearfully requesting to please please please don’t let Wonwoo know where he is, don’t let Wonwoo see him like this. 

The only response Soonyoung gets is Jeonghan enveloping him in a comforting hug.

\---

Jihoon’s the one who collects him from the apartment upstairs. 

Soonyoung lets Jihoon lead the way back to their own apartment after numerous promises that no, Wonwoo’s not there waiting for him, Wonwoo isn’t there to confront him for the second time around. It had been Junhui who saw the aftermath of what happened between him and Wonwoo. Junhui had told him that Wonwoo was leaving the apartment as Junhui was entering. 

The other boy had nothing else on him but a jacket, Wonwoo leaving behind his phone in their common area. 

Jihoon tells him to rest up and go to bed, never mind the fact that Soonyoung currently has conflicting emotions of being both worried and angry. He wants Wonwoo to be safe wherever the hell he’s gone to but also, Soonyoung wishes that leaving hadn’t been Wonwoo’s course of action. 

(Then again, he blames himself for leaving Wonwoo in the kitchen in the first place.)

He heeds Jihoon’s advice, emotional exhaustion making him fall asleep instantly when his body lands on his bed.

\---

Wonwoo still hasn’t returned when Soonyoung wakes up in the morning. 

They’re all worried but for some reason, Jihoon’s confident that Wonwoo will return to them in one piece. He has classes to attend and so do Jihoon and Junhui however, Soonyoung can’t find the energy to actually get through his classes for the day. For once, Jihoon agrees on Soonyoung skipping out for the day, telling the other to just stay in the apartment and rest up. 

Soonyoung’s body tells him he can’t just sit around and be idle though because the more he just mopes on the couch, the more worried he gets about Wonwoo. 

So he lets his feet take him to the kitchen and he bakes. 

In his entire life, baking is the only thing that grounds him and puts him at ease. 

He’s sitting on the kitchen floor, head resting on his arms and knees while he waits for the cookies in the oven to finish baking. Soonyoung hears the front door open but he doesn’t move from his spot; it’s probably just Jihoon or Junhui coming back from class to check up on him. 

His eyes softly slip shut as he hears sock-clad footsteps coming closer and closer. Soonyoung hides further into himself when he feels whoever it is sit next to him on the floor. He releases a soft sigh, squeezing his eyes shut then. 

“I’m fine, Junhui. Or Jihoon. Whoever you are. You don’t have to--”

“Hi.” 

Soonyoung’s eyes snap open when he hears not Jihoon nor Junhui but Wonwoo, _Wonwoo’s voice_ next to him. He lifts his head too quick from his knees and ends up banging his head against the drawer behind him, letting out a pained yell. His unintended actions cause Wonwoo chuckle, Wonwoo then reaching a hand out towards Soonyoung, resting it on the back of his head. He rubs over the part where Soonyoung hit his head, trying to soothe the pain away. 

“Hi,” Wonwoo repeats, smiling a little at Soonyoung. 

A few seconds earlier, Soonyoung had been ready to ramble that no, he didn’t need to be checked up on, and that he’s fine, really fine as far having a broken heart goes. Right now however, it seems that all the words have left Soonyoung’s mouth. He stares at Wonwoo, still in disbelief at the fact that he did return to them in one piece and that he’s actually talking to Soonyoung. 

Wonwoo moves his hand from the back of Soonyoung’s head as he shifts closer to him, palm gently resting on Soonyoung’s cheek. Wonwoo’s other hand is busy fishing out something in his pockets; he pauses when he finally has it in his hands, taking a deep breath before fully turning towards Soonyoung. 

“Hi,” Wonwoo starts again with a hint of a smile, pulling out a bag of cookies from his pocket, handing it to Soonyoung. 

“I’m Jeon Wonwoo, and I’m in love with you.” 

Soonyoung lets Wonwoo’s words sink in and when it finally does, a wet-sounding laugh escapes his lips. There are tears in his eyes again as he takes the bag of cookies from Wonwoo, promptly recognizing that they’re the cookies from his own family’s bakery, that they’re the cookies his mother deliciously makes, that they’re the cookies he’d first offered to Wonwoo when he introduced himself to the other way back in daycare. 

So that’s where Wonwoo had gone overnight. Back home, back to the bakery to get a bag of the cookies that probably forged the beginning of their friendship, their relationship. 

Soonyoung chuckles in between his tears, laughing even more when he sees Wonwoo crying all the same. 

They’re both a bunch of saps, huh? 

“C’mere,” Soonyoung murmurs as he leans into Wonwoo’s hand on his cheek, dropping the bag of treats on his lap as his hand takes Wonwoo’s other one, pulling him in impossible closer. “Hi,” Soonyoung doesn’t forget to return the greeting, tearful yet radiant smile reaching his eyes. “I’m Kwon Soonyoung and I am really absolutely totally in love with you.”

Wonwoo obliges then, arm curling around Soonyoung’s shoulder, hand settling on his nape. He rests his forehead on Soonyoung’s own tenderly and at this point, Soonyoung doesn’t really care if they’re just crying against each other. “I’m in love with you, have been in love with you ever since we were kids. It’s always been you, Kwon Soonyoung.” 

Soonyoung nods, and while he knows there’s a lot of things between him and Wonwoo that they need to talk about, hearing Wonwoo say that he loves him back is enough, more than enough for now. They can talk while eating cookies, both the ones Wonwoo had brought in from home and the ones currently baking in the oven in the tiny kitchen of their shared apartment. 

There’s one thing that Soonyoung absolutely wants to do though. It’s something he’s been dreaming of, thinking about ever since he realized he had feelings for Wonwoo but he never dared to speak it out loud nor act on it in any way. Finally though, with Wonwoo holding him close, with Wonwoo telling him that he feels the same, Soonyoung can allow his dream come true. 

So he smiles as he erases the distance between him and Wonwoo, crimson coloring his cheeks, head buzzing with great wonder, Soonyoung then capturing Wonwoo’s lips with his own in a loving kiss. 

“It’s always been you too, Jeon Wonwoo.”

**Author's Note:**

> happy holidays, [seungkwannie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seungkwannie/)!!  
> i combined a couple of your prompts and that resulted in this monster of a fic, lol. ;; i had an absolute blast writing this! thank you, thank you for letting me write for one of my favorite svt pairs. i hope you enjoyed this fic as much as i did writing it. ♡
> 
> thank you to P for holding my hand throughout the writing process of this fic. 
> 
> (also, a few more notes: yes, there are cameos in the fic from various kpop groups. monsta x, twice, pristin, nct, winner. jihyo is jihyo from twice, minhyuk is minhyuk from monsta x. rv's seulgi as wonwoo's older sister is and always will be good civilization. 
> 
> this entire work is unbeta'd so please feel free to point out mistakes if you spot them! i'll come back to this work after the reveals to edit it, ahaha. 
> 
> title lifted from blue encount's song of the same name, [coffee, sugar, instant love](https://open.spotify.com/track/5xMPMmMbH9PjVTAqwZZoxd). please give them a listen. ♡)


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